Woven Spotlight: Agnieszka Golczyk
Finding Home in the Unexpected
Agnes's Journey from Poland to China
Under the warm evening light of Guangzhou, Agnieszka (Agnes) Golczyk strolls through her neighbourhood after dinner, participating in a ritual she's come to embrace as part of her daily life. This simple tradition—an evening walk to aid digestion—represents just one of the many Chinese customs that have become woven into her existence during her 11 years in China. Originally from Poland and having lived in England, Agnes's path led her across continents to build a life that beautifully blends Eastern and Western traditions.
"I've learnt to compromise a lot and am now able to accept things I wouldn't have accepted a few years ago," Agnes reflects on her journey of adaptation. It's this flexibility and openness that has allowed her to transform what began as a leap of faith to join her then-husband-to-be into a fulfilling life rich with cross-cultural experiences.
For many in Europe, China remains misunderstood, its reputation coloured by political narratives that often overshadow the day-to-day reality. "I think people do not realise how convenient life here is on a day-to-day basis and that what they hear in the news may not necessarily be true or even if it is, it may not be affecting us settled here at all," she observes, highlighting the disconnect between external perceptions and lived experience.
The Challenge of Beginning Anew
Agnes's early days in China tested her in ways she hadn't anticipated. Having enjoyed independence in the UK, she suddenly found herself dependent on others, living with her partner's family and navigating cultural norms dramatically different from her own. The transition from autonomy to interdependence proved challenging.
"The first few months were challenging because we did not have our own place to stay and I found it hard living with complete strangers (his family), having to live according to their norms, which were dramatically different from mine at times," she shares. This abrupt shift in living circumstances intensified the already complex experience of cultural adaptation.
What eased this transition was finding employment with an international company, where working alongside fellow expatriates provided a sense of familiarity and community during those crucial early years. This professional environment became a bridge between cultures, offering Agnes both stability and connection as she found her footing in her new home.
Building a Cross-Cultural Family
Today, Agnes's home celebrates a rich tapestry of traditions from Poland, England, and China—a deliberate choice she believes is essential, especially for her son who is growing up with multiple cultural influences.
"In my home, we celebrate most Chinese, Polish and English holidays, which I think is important, both for me and for my son," she explains. This cultural blending requires creativity and flexibility, as recreating traditional celebrations in a foreign setting comes with inevitable adaptations. Agnes approaches this challenge with enthusiasm, particularly enjoying the opportunity to prepare traditional foods that connect her family to their diverse heritage.
Though practical considerations sometimes necessitate modifications to how holidays are celebrated, these moments of cultural sharing have become defining features of her family's unique identity. The way they blend traditions reflects Agnes's broader approach to expatriate life—embracing flexibility while maintaining meaningful connections to her roots.
Finding Community in Foreign Spaces
The relationships Agnes has formed in China have been crucial to her adjustment and happiness. While acknowledging that expatriate communities sometimes foster "shallow, surface-level relationships" centred around shared grievances, she has been fortunate to develop meaningful friendships that have sustained her through difficult periods.
"I am much more confident now and have had many impromptu conversations with people I met when out and about," she notes, describing how living abroad has expanded her social capabilities. These connections proved invaluable during the COVID-19 pandemic, when China's strict lockdown policies left many expatriates feeling deeply isolated.
"China's zero-tolerance policy and lockdowns meant that I had very little contact with anyone outside my house after I had my baby, which was a particularly emotionally challenging time," Agnes reveals. This period of intense isolation led her to take a career break and return to Europe temporarily—a decision that ultimately reinforced her commitment to her life in China by allowing her to reconnect with family and cultural roots.
Embracing Local Culture
Despite the challenges, Agnes has developed a genuine appreciation for Chinese culture, particularly its cuisine and urban landscapes. She speaks fondly of exploring Guangzhou's oldest neighbourhoods—Liwan and Yuexiu—drawn to their historical architecture and the stories they contain.
"I feel extremely lucky to have been living in a city like Guangzhou, which has both history, rich culture and fantastic natural spots in and around the city," she enthuses. This appreciation extends to everyday pleasures, from enjoying breakfast at street-side stalls to gathering with friends for hot pot dinners.
Agnes's willingness to engage with local culture has enriched her experience and provided deeper insights into her adopted home. Rather than remaining within an expatriate bubble, she has deliberately sought connection with Chinese residents and places, contributing to her successful integration and continued happiness in Guangzhou.
The Evolution of Understanding
Over time, Agnes has developed a more nuanced perspective on cultural differences, recognising that behaviours or norms she once found challenging often have complex historical contexts.
"Even though there will always be things I simply cannot understand and will never approve of or accept here, I have learn that behind people's thinking and behaviour are centuries of history and experiences that led to them acting a certain way," she reflects. This developed empathy represents one of the most valuable outcomes of her expatriate journey.
While acknowledging instances of racism and "atrocious behaviours" during her years in China, Agnes balances these experiences with recognition of the kindness and friendship she's encountered. "Many people are kind, tolerant, polite, mild-mannered, open-minded and genuinely friendly," she observes, highlighting the importance of maintaining perspective when navigating cross-cultural challenges.
Lessons From a Decade Abroad
Looking back on her eleven years in China, Agnes expresses surprise at her own adaptability and contentment. "How easily I can adapt and how I don't miss living in Europe as much as I thought I would," she identifies as her most unexpected discovery about herself.
For those considering a similar international move, Agnes offers practical advice: "Go and visit the country of your choice before you decide to move there, stay at least two weeks (a month, if possible) in one location and see what day-to-day life is like." She emphasises the importance of thoroughly understanding your partner's family dynamics when relocating for love, recognising their potential influence on expatriate life.
Agnes's story illustrates the profound personal growth that can emerge from embracing uncertainty and building a life across cultures. Through persistence, openness, and a willingness to blend traditions, she has created a fulfilling existence that honours both her European heritage and her Chinese present, finding home in the beautiful complexity of her cross-cultural journey.
Agnes is a writer and former international company employee who has spent over a decade building a cross-cultural family life in Guangzhou, where she documents her experiences and explorations through her blog.
Connect with Agnes:
LinkedIn: Agnieszka Golczyk (MCIL)
Instagram: @guangzhou_kidz
The Woven Spotlight Series features women who have created meaningful lives abroad, sharing their unique perspectives on cultural adaptation, professional reinvention, and personal growth across borders.
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