From Proving Your Worth to Creating Your Value

Redefining Success Across Cultures

Photo by wu yi on Unsplash

For months after moving abroad, I found myself stuck in conversations about my past. “I used to plan weddings,” I’d explain. “I used to work for a digital coaching company.” The words felt safe and familiar. They are achievements I could point to with confidence. However, something felt hollow about constantly looking back to define my worth.

Then came a pivotal moment when I learned about “portfolio careers” through a women’s network, giving me the language to describe my own path. I wasn’t unemployed or lost; I was creating something entirely new. The relief was instant, yet it also exposed an uncomfortable truth: I had been wasting so much energy trying to prove my worth, instead of acknowledging the value I was actively generating.

This month, I am examining how women abroad transition from proving their worth to establishing their value. They go beyond traditional ways of measuring success and focus on genuine contributions and community impact. Living in different cultures prompts us to reflect on what success truly means and whose approval we are seeking.

The Hidden Weight of External Validation

The urge to prove ourselves doesn’t fade after crossing borders; in fact, it often grows stronger. We bring our home expectations while adapting to new cultural standards of success. This leads to tiring performances where we continuously justify our decisions to audiences, real or imagined.

Vika H. Oliveira, whose story we’re featuring this month, describes this perfectly through her Bulgarian lens: “As a Bulgarian, I tend to believe that we need to prove our worth.”

But her journey reveals something fascinating about cultural adaptation. What began as a need to prove herself in Singapore grew into something more powerful: the realisation that she could create what was missing. “I would love to see a physical spot where people can go and feel extremely welcomed and feel that everyone that goes there shares the same values of respect, uplifting, and supporting one another,” she envisions. This isn’t just about business but about creating value through authentic contribution.

The Shift from Performance to Purpose

The shift from demonstrating worth to generating value doesn’t usually occur instantly. It is often prompted by times when conventional success indicators seem insufficient or inauthentic within our evolving cultural landscape.

For some, it’s the realisation that career titles don’t translate across borders. For others, it’s understanding that financial independence isn’t the sole indicator of contribution. Sometimes, it’s just about recognising that the work you’re doing- such as building connections, fostering community, and supporting others’ transitions- holds significant value, even if it doesn’t align with traditional success metrics.

From conversations with women living abroad, I’ve observed that this shift often means we must distinguish our sense of achievement from others’ recognition or understanding. International living enhances our cultural intelligence, showing us that different environments value various contributions, and that our success remains valid and significant even if not universally understood.

The Questions That Reveal Everything

This month, we will examine how women experience this transformation in various cultural settings. But first, let’s consider some reflections that may be uncomfortable.